Monday, August 23, 2010
in melina we trust....
So I just received this picture from a friend of mine the other day (thanks Fred !) and thought it would be appropriate to use this "lucky coin" as a sort of "re-entry" shot for me to get back to writing on this blog. I have taken a year off from writing as "melina007" and did this for a couple of reasons:
First: I started to get comments from friends and family that I wasn't making comments "often enough" and as touched as I was by their frequent requests, I found I was feeling unnecessary pressure to "report back" as if it was my duty to tell them all that I was doing on a daily basis; I didnt want this, at least not at that time. I knew I needed a break from a tough few months of teaching and other work and personal responsibilities and disappearing for a few months on a deserted beach in southern Thailand with nothing more than a sarong in hand was just what "the doctor" had ordered. So off I went, no blog to report to- only my journal in hand, where I would write for sometimes hours at a time,often contemplating on almost nothing at all...but this just felt right to me and I never questioned it.
And contrary to popular belief, I really do enjoy just being quiet, not speaking sometimes to anyone for a few days at a time. I actually enjoy working on my "demons", writing in my journals about loves lost and loves found, and taking long walks full of quiet contemplation where I truly feel the answers to life lie in the sounds of the waves beckoning me at my feet....For you see, being alone and quiet with myself and my "inner voice" is just what "my doctor" orders for me after many months of "being there" for friends, family, students, clients, etc..It is the Yin and Yang of my life; the expansion and contraction of how I live, breathe, and function on a daily basis. I work hard but then need to play hard. And playing for me sometimes means doing absolutely nothing at all- just watching a beautiful sunset can be the highlight of my day...
Okay, second reason for taking a "blogging break": I didn't really feel I had much to share last year while I was in Thailand as I was beginning to feel this was more of my home now (5th year there) and the daily occurrences of my life didnt seem too "earth-shattering" or exciting to me, let alone for anyone else to have to read about . Sure, I live in a 10x 10 bamboo bungalow 30 yards from the Andaman sea amidst Muslims, Christians, Hindus, as well as tourists from all over the world. And yes, I can see sunsets every night from my hammock and eat thai food for about 2 dollars a day and ride an elephant when I want or have a 7 dollar massage on the beach every day if I choose. And yes, I can hop aboard a plane and be in Bali , Malaysia or Laos in 2 hours and spend a week there taking a cooking class if I want or learn a new spiritual practice from a visiting guru at a mountainside temple. This is just what I did; it was my life for 4 months of every year for the past 5...Of course I was grateful, but there didn't seem any real "novelty" to my life, it is just how I lived...why should I write home about things I did that seemed completely "normal" ?
(Okay, wait a minute here-yes, I really do need to take a pause here-.because as I write this now, I am suddenly and seriously reawakened to the fact that YES, I do indeed lead a very special ,"different", and sometimes "exotic" life and need to NEVER take this for granted nor should I ever feel what I share might bore or offend and if it does, I shouldn't have to apologize for that either- THERE, I said it. last time. onward and upward. )
Okay, in fear of rambling more, I will rap this entry up now.I guess my main point with all this is that my traveling and living in other countries is a lifestyle I have chosen for myself. I don't see this as going on a typical 2-week vacation where you drink every umbrella cocktail in sight, shop in every store till you drop and write "wish you were here" postcards from a poolside laden with dozens of sunburnt tourists. It is instead for me a time and place where I go to rejuvenate, rethink, and rehash things that I need to sort out in my life so I can come back home refreshed, renewed, and resuscitated.
It is a time for me to make new friends , and re-appreciate old ones. It is a time to discover new things about myself and discard the old stuff that no longer serves me. And finally, it is a time for me to be grateful, to live every moment as much as I can in the "here and now".
This is the life I have chosen, and for now, it is still filling my spirit and allowing it to soar. I sense it always will. And if you find what I share is at all inspiring you to get off your couch, save a few dollars and go follow your dreams of visiting and experiencing at least one new culture in your lifetime, then I will know this blog was definitely not written in vain....I look forward to sharing more with you soon, wherever I may be. Welcome aboard.