"all Americans are fat and carry guns" and other ' grand conclusions' I hear on the road...

I am always wary of people who make sweeping generalizations of a country, its people, and its culture based on a visit that consisted of only a few days or even a week or two…

I don’t know why but I think this may be one of my biggest pet peeves of all time. Perhaps I hear “ego” screaming when I come across these people in my travels or when I read travel blogs where the author claims to “know it all” about a country based on his or her stay in a 4-star hotel for the weekend in Delhi or a in a well-run family resort on some nice secluded island in the south of Thailand..




Please don’t tell me India is “all this way or that” based on your one- week trip to Delhi or that Thailand is “just like this...” based on your fun weekend getaway to Phuket or that your 3-day visit to Saigon made you think ALL Vientamese people are a certain way and that they all think “this way” about Americans and the war…”



Say what you feel and feel what you say, of course, but for godsakes, please don’t speak for an entire nation and it people….



What “gets my goat” even more is when I hear that these so-called “seasoned” travelers often never have one conversation with a local person while they were away – not one. And even if they did, how on earth can one darn conversation give anyone insight into an entire country after just a few minutes of a conversation? (If someone can tell me how this is truly possible, please write me asap so I can rid myself of this pet peeve – please, I would be forever indebted…)




For to make sweeping generalizations about any place or people (even your own..) is incredibly ridiculous and absurd to me- it always has been. It is like someone telling me “All Americans are fat and love fast food and carry guns” or “I hate American Airlines and they suck and I will never fly them again because the one flight I took with them was 2 hours late and I missed my connection to LA and my stomach got a bug after I ate their meal and I couldn’t sleep because of the baby sitting next to me, and I didn’t like the color of their seats and my finger nail broke when I turned the bathroom door
( okay, I diverge a bit here but you get my drift..)




So what would I love to hear from you travelers instead ? How ‘bout some truth and honesty about what YOUR day or week was like in India, Thailand, Vietnam, or wherever…Just tell me what YOU saw, who you spoke with, what your learned, what insight you may have gained about a cultural practice….I really don’t want to hear about your conclusion of an entire people and their nation based on some made-up bullshit you overheard from the drunken guy in the back seat of the bus you took from the airport to your Westin hotel in Hong Kong. Makes for a fun story, for sure, but don’t go telling me you know the Chinese people based on this 20-minute escapade.



Please- tell me instead about the beautiful wide-eyed child you took the time to play ball with in the schoolyard or the old lady at the street corner in Bangkok who you finally stopped to speak with after passing her and her noodle-shop for over a week.



or tell me about the dinner you had with the Muslim family who invited you over to their house for dinner and played cards with you till dawn …




or the Balinese taxi driver who drove you to his personal family temple where you got to sit and pray to side-by –side as Buddha smiled above you both…



Tell me about the shy Thai man who had the courage to open his heart to you and share his deep joy that his girlfriend finally called and “wants him back”…



… or the story about the humble and hard-working owner of the local Vietnamese supermarket whose wife just gave birth to a baby boy today but he still has to be there to run the shop because he couldn’t afford to pay for extra help..





Or how bout this heart-wrenching moment that literally just occurred as I took a break moments ago to pay for my room here in Bali. I was saying good bye to one of my favorite Balinese receptionists, and was giving her a big hug, thanking her for all her help . I then started to ask her about her family..She mentioned she had 2 young boys but said she had a daughter who “left a long time ago” and then I went silent…Seconds later I find out her daughter died during birth and that she only had a few moments to see her alive before she passed…and then she adds “She was very beautiful with big brown eyes.. and she even had your nose”…



These are the sort of moments that just stop me dead in my tracks..for they become moments where all “veils of differences” between cultures and people are dropped- instantly….




...for It really doesn’t matter to me what god you pray to, or what side of the street you choose to drive on or how you dress or what you eat…



I want to know what makes you tick, what breaks your heart, what makes you want to get up in the morning, what would you risk your life for, who you would jump in the fire with…



And the only conclusion I dare to make from all the many years I have been traveling is that we as humans are all so much more connected in similarities than we are in differences- We are humans first, afterall…and with this amazing commonality brings yet an even more amazing possibility to focus on the spirit that connects us all…




And if I ever come across to others as a “know it all” about travel or anything else for that matter. , I will stop dead in my tracks and just go home. And stay there.

Happy trails….